This may, in fact, be one of the most profound discussions thus far in your Twitter career. There will be some unpleasantness (that cannot be avoided), but with a manly (or womanly for you chapettes) attitude we will prevail in the end. Let us go forth! Tally-ho!
Now, here's the nub of it: thus far in my Twitter journey you've read several times how I have been following up to 2,000 other chaps at a time. That is by any definition a lot of chaps. So many chaps, in fact, that you may have wondered, 'How does this chap pay attention to the tweets of 2,000 other chaps? Blimey, there aren't enough hours in the day!'
Well said, chap. Your grasp of how many hours are in the day is, as usual, spot on. A marvelous piece of deduction, that. Sadly, I have no hocus-pocus answer to reveal. There are (as you correctly stated, not enough hours in the day to read the Tweets from 2,000 chaps. At least not very thoroughly, anyway.
Now then chaps, please lean in closely to your computer screen (or tablet thingy or 'smart' mobile telephone) because I regret that at this moment a rather unfortunate trade secret must be revealed. It's best to keep these moments rather private, don't you think?
Right. Well, actually, no, one cannot read the tweets of all the 2,000 chaps followed thus far. In fact, merely glancing at the tweets of more than, say, a hundred or so chaps every day is deuced hard work. A full portion of 'hard work' is normally on offer day at the office without the need to pile on more, don't' you agree? No, this chap selectively chooses who to listen to and (with regret) who to ignore.
Confession time here, chaps. Please remain close to your screens for one more paragraph (after this one).
If truth be told, this does make one feel rather a heel. It's just not cricket, is it? Plumping to follow a chap, getting his hopes up that his voice (so long suppressed) will finally be heard, that he has found a true friend and soul-mate who wants to listen to his innermost thoughts, and then, without notice or explanation, merrily ignoring his outpourings.
The long and short of it, chaps, is that, however regretful the situation is, another way forward is decidedly absent from the scene. One follows in order to be followed, but one cannot listen to everyone that one follows. It is a hard truth, and, dear chap, hopefully you are taking it manfully. It would be understandable if at this moment you felt the need to pause for a refresher. Something to strengthen the resolve, I mean.
Charging ahead, despite the unpleasantness, we now set forth several top tips for coping with the situation:
There are several ways that one can filter out the wheat from the chaff, so to speak, when it comes to an exceedingly busy timeline. Two factors must be addressed: plucking out the Tweets one wants to read and, likewise, tuning out the tweets that one does not want to hear. Fortunately, there are several methods for doing both of these things.
The foundation of selective tweet reading is the Twitter list. Until recently Twitter prominently showed how many lists a chap appeared in, but, in their own wisdom, this statistic was moved into the shadows during the recent makeover. Do not be fooled, however, into underestimating the importance of lists.
A proper Twitter list will help you remember which chaps are worth listening to, and what subject they tweet on. So, for example, I might construct a list entitled, 'Chaps Who Enjoy Pipes,' and include on it anyone from the Twitter pipe-smoking community I follow. Or, I might have a list called, 'Jolly Good Chaps,' for the sort that are absolute bricks and can be turned to in times of sorrow. The possibilities are, so to speak, endless.
Twitter lists may be both 'public' and 'private.' Private lists are much preferred for managing selective tweet reading. Indicating to a chap that, owing to his exclusion from a particular public list, his tweets will pass unread is rather unseemly. A private list avoids hurt feelings.
Once a list is in existence it can be accessed in various ways. I myself am often partial to old-fashioned web-based Twitter - long since forsaken by many (there was a time, chaps, in the not distant past, when the last place one would want to engage in serious tweeting was Twitter itself. But those days, thankfully, are long past. With recent advances, web-based Twitter is, so to speak, not to be sneezed at).
Two other platforms that are excellent for filtering timelines are HootSuite and TweetDeck. Both of these apps are, if one may speak strongly, rather splendid! In essence, they help a chap to see his various Twitter lists, including new Tweets, as they arrive, all at a single glance. Spiffing, eh? And besides imposing some order onto the chaos of the Twitter timeline, these apps also help manage Facebook and other social media accounts. All at once. Bravo, eh?
I myself am a TweetDeck man, but they are both jolly good and well-respected by all. Have a play around with both and find the one that is the best fit.
I say, I've gone rather technical, haven't I? Fear not, old bean, for the end is in sight! Stand firm!
Turning our gaze to the progress of my Twitter account, the current follower count stands at 982! A good show, what? Only eighteen more chaps to enroll before reaching the 1,000 follower staging post set out on the first post of this blog (just eight days ago). Not a record-beating pace, admittedly, but then the high road has been taken at several junctures to attract the right sort of follower, rather than make a mad dash for the finish.
It still being early Spring, I've ordered a fire to be built and will now curl up in my favourite chair for a smoke by the hearth. No doubt, you should do the same, chap. We've worked hard for our crust today and it's time for a toes-up, don't you agree?