Friday, 2 March 2012

A Chap's Guide to Establishing Oneself on Twitter - Part 4

Opening a blog post, as those of you who indulge will well know, can be bally difficult for a chap.

How does one begin? Plunge into the heart of the matter too swiftly and one gets the reputation of being hasty and perhaps a bit of a bore. Spend too long building up to the blasted point and chaps lose interest. Before one can say 'boo' they are two clicks further on their journey and likely never heard from again.

Today's post for this chap, however, must begin with an apology to my esteemed readers, or at least an explanation. For, whereas I finished part 3 of my gripping series with the promise of 'More tomorrow,' my regular readers will have noticed that tomorrow passed into today and hence to yesterday with nary a post appearing on said blog. I never like to let a chap down, especially a good egg like you dear reader, so please accept my most most humble and sincerest offering of remorse.

You see, yesterday this chap ran into one of the most infernal obstructions known to the world of marketing. A phenomenon that regularly confounds the best and brightest of marketing talents. I refer to, of course, a client.

Clients have a habit of wanting things, you see, and whether or not the thing they want is easy or convenient seems rarely to come up for discussion. Alas, yesterday was spent much in the fashion of one of the poor Hebrew slaves from the Old Testament. 'Bricks without straw!' I cried (to myself), 'You want me to make bricks without straw!' (again, to myself).

There was nothing for it but to apply one's nose to the grindstone and grind away with vigour. Fortunately this sort of situation is relatively rare. If it was not there would be nothing for it but to find a career outside of marketing. Or perhaps retire back to the manor house and grow roses.

But enough of this wittering. Let us charge in to today's subject with a cry of 'Tally ho!'

When we last met the follower count for my Tweets was a solid 472. A credible number after a third day of twittering. Even the proverbial man on the Clapham omnibus would so agree. It pleases me greatly to convey to you, however, that despite yesterday's distractions preventing one from exploiting one's Twitter skills to the utmost, another 100 was added to the tally by day's end. Once more, despite barely lifting a finger in the Twitter department for most of today the count has nevertheless surged forward to 696.

A proper chap does not toot his own horn, so to speak, but yet he is not so churlish as to scorn the fruits of his harvest. Being a good sort and all that, dear reader, I have no doubt as you read the above paragraph you exclaimed, 'Well done, chap!' and that sort of thing.  Please accept my sincere thanks for your compliment. Well played, chap.

As stated above, these recent gains are not from trickery or hocus pocus. It is just that the previous days of hobnobbing with established adepts of the Twitterati has paid dividends in spades. A spot of interactions with the delightful Porter Gale is an excellent case in point. A single mention from this chapette alone was enough to bring in a score or so of fresh followers before my cup of Darjeeling had time to cool, so to speak. A chap seeking to make a name for himself should never fail to seek out those in the know and press the flesh, as it were (even when, as in this case) the flesh is merely of the virtual variety.

Pleased with the day's haul I have since turned to Manage Flitter (as discussed previously) to unfollow a further 200 bounders who had thus far shown only the coldest of shoulders (hard cheese to them, of course, but I will not fail to greet them as the proverbial prodigal son should they decide to make amends in future). With my follow count cleansed I wasted no time and followed a fresh 200 new marketing and social media types. Job done. Which chap brought the biscuits, eh?

But wait, I hear you ask, is this the full extent of one's blog? Just a daily account of following and unfollowing, etc?

A fair point, and despite your evident lack of faith, I both forgive you, old chap, and also assuage your doubts. Fear not! Following posts will be jam packed with invaluable morsels of Twitter know-how.  In fact there will be just such a post (dare I say it) tomorrow!

But until then it would be best to knock off here and celebrate with two fingers of single malt and a freshly refilled pipe. Care to join me, what what?

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