A Chap's Guide to the Second Thousand Followers- Part 1

As my regular readers probably know by now, I'm the sort of chap that normally plumps for plain speaking.

This chap is not one to embellish his posts with unnecessary frippery. If one has a point to make, so to speak, then one should, as it were, make it without delay.

That being said, there is, from time to time, a case to be made for 'metaphor.'  This is just such a moment.

We begin phase two of this blog not (as you might expect) with a discussion about Twitter. No chaps, we will make a quick diversion with a chat about pipe smoking (that's the metaphor, by the way)...

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Acutally, chaps, there is no editor. Only me, but one thought it would have a bit more gravitas than, 'NOTE FROM ME,' if you see what I mean. 

Anyhoo, just before this post was written, while I was deep in thought pondering what to write, there was a rather unfortunate accident. For reasons that are best not explained, my valet showed up at my desk with a bottle of fizz. I said, 'Perkins, I'm trying to compose an imporant post, what what? It would be unseemly to imbibe at this time.'  He mumbled something about me having asked him to bring it up from the cellar, which even if it was true was hardly relevant. Anyway, I could see the disappoinment on Perkins' face, and, being a rather progressive-type employer, felt that it would be wrong and unmanly to let the poor blighter down. So, with great reluctance, I polished off the bottle of champers as quickly as possible and resumed my work on this blog.

Much to my later surprise, the quality of said post declined dramatically from the point that I imbibed the bubbly, which is to say, from the beginning. It was with no small amount of horror that I read what I had written this morning, and, if I may be so frank, it was pure twaddle. I went on and on and on and on and on and on about pipe smoking. Twitter, the actual subject of the post in question, got a mere mention at the conclusion.

One felt that one must act. It was bad enough that such rubbish had been foisted upon the world overnight, but it could not be allowed to continue indefinitely. Ergo, one has removed the rather rambling bit, and inserted this brief synopsis of what had transpired.

As for the 'metaphor' (always a sign of a weak or incapacitated mind, in ones opinion) take it as read that the whole thing comes down to a single sentance: a pipe gets better the more it is used. See, I saved you from having to read all of that tosh with one single phrase. Well done, eh? Anyway, if you want to see the original (not for the feint of heart, chaps) one will try to post it elsewhere for your perusal. Otherwise, continue below (remembering, of course, that pipes improve with use).

EDITOR'S NOTE ENDS]


...The point of this metaphor, however (and forgive me if I'm moving too quickly here), is that a pipe takes time to reach its potential. It gets better, as it were, the more it is used. In this one respect, at least (and I may think of more parallels given time) a pipe is very similar to a Twitter account.

With some care and attention your Twitter account will not just get you more followers, but you will also begin to enjoy using it more and more as well. The Twittersphere is so vast and diverse that it can bamboozle a chap at first, but hopefully by now you are beginning to find your way a bit. In time, you can do much, much more than that, though, chap.

A Twitter account is not just a sum of tweets, follows and followers, anymore than your local pub is just a collection of taps, fruit machines, and disreputable old men. No, chaps, it is a community and the more you are connected with it and engaged with it the more you will enjoy it.

Whereas the first phase of this blog's account was mostly about acquiring 1,000 followers in a more or less mad dash, the quest for the second thousand will be an altogether more circumspect and thoughtful affair. We'll have a gander at tweet content, diversity, and how to engage with new Tweeps. These skills will not only help a chap enjoy Twitter much more, but also prove very useful for growing your followers. And it's good timing too, because the wicket is about to get very sticky.  One must warn you that the approach to 2,000 followers is not for the feint of heart! Be prepared to gird your loins, so to speak, and enter the fray!

There we are! All done for the day. The pipe smoking metaphor, so useful just a moment ago, may now be put aside. Instead, one would like to take up a fresh cup of Darjeeling and some chocolate biscuits, eh? I'll ring for my valet Perkins now...